i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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