If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
