Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
