I'm lost and stupid without you.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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