My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize