Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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