Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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