i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
