You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
