just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
