Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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