I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
