We're like a lot better than the average bears
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize