is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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