If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
