My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
