Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
