I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
