how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
