fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
