i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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