Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize