She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
