There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
