Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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