id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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