So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
