Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize