she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
