very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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