I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
