We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
