the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
