Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
