Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
