by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
