Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize