Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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