finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
