that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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