You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
