you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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