im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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