Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
