Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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