Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Text me some of your sweat
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
