it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
