Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
