I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
