I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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