I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize