If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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