marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
