Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
17 year olds will be the death of me.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
