It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he was CRYING into my vagina
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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