the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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