I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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