you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
