As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
