Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
