I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
