I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
