For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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