Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
