My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
