but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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